He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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