He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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