dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
