I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize