somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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