lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
