My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
