You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
