dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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