he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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