just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
