1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
