ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
