If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
