That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
