I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
