it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
