The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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