it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
