He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
