I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize