Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
