well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
