I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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