May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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