you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
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The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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