Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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