Pants 0. Shit 1.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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