i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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