When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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