youre lurking in front of me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
