It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
