My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
