We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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