You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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