we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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