party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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