Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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