Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I don't think brook has ever known best
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
