I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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