they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
