cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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