if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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