Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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