Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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