I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
