One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
