im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
