I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
