Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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