I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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