we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
