It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
