How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
