you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
