Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
